Ella training – a total work in progress

My stride must be off. It feels like one leg is longer than the other, almost like I’m dragging one leg. Knee surgery from high school is messing with me, I always baby my left leg and when I attempted to jog on the treadmill for the first time in… well… ever, I noticed that it seemed like I was dragging my leg. The way my left foot hit was different and after one singular mile my hips hurt… so off to chiropractor and running shoe store (easy up-sell for today) for an evaluation I will go.
I actually have an appointment to talk to my general doctor about my gait, to make sure it’s not something I need old people orthopedic shoes for… cause those, those babies are hella sexy

But the answers to why I’m doing this are as follows:

YES I totally got caught up in Robin’s hype and excitement for doing a runDisney event.

YES I want to stay on track for continuing to lose the weight I gained before, during, and after baby.

YES I totally want to do this damn thing that I’ve talked about doing for over three years now and be held accountable by someone who will be doing it with me…

but mainly, and this is so so fucking wrong, but I’m doing this damn thing because a cocksucker in another department was joking with a co-worker of mine. When the subject came up that I was going to do this whole 1/2 marathon event, his response was, “she doesn’t even like getting up to go to the printer”. Fucka youa dude.

like OUCH, did you really need to say that? Yes I’m incredibly lazy here at my state office job. But I stay in my corner cubicle to avoid hearing those kinds of interactions. The audible conversations of those that have nothing better to do than to shit talk about other people. Not going to lie; Robin and I are total damn bitches on gChat about other people but we do it in private, like the fucking ladies we are.

So there you have it, where I’m at so far and the reasons for running.

I ran out of diapers

             My child is borderline lactose intolerant, like he can have milk as long as that is his only dairy for the day. If he has cheese then he better not have more than a couple of cups of milk. We have ratios and in general we know how to work with his diet. My husband apparently pays attention to none of that. In one of the rare occasions that he tried to help out by giving me time in the house alone; he went out with Joe. He was gone for a total of three hours, to the library, the zoo, the grocery store and even the parking lot for an impromptu nap. You know, when a kid passes out within two minutes of getting to your destination and the number one rule is to never wake a sleeping baby… yea…

            Well, during his outing I was occansioanlly receiving picture text updates of where they were and what they were doing. It went something like this

At the library: he sure does love that fish tank

At the zoo: look babe, he loves ice cream

Parking Lot: guess I have to wait to go inside huh?

At the store: I think we need this mask

I did not reply because, well, my hands were covered in paint and I pretty much got all these texts at once. But I noticed the ice cream and thought… he knows better, he has to… and then I hear the garage door open. I count the steps, yes he’s rushing, and then I hear the door slam… YUP he’s rushing. I greet my husband who is holding a pissed off toddler and a disheveled diaper bag. This is how it went down:

Husband: I ran out of diapers, I had to bring him home, that diarrhea is unbelievable, I don’t know what he ate that made him poop so much, it’s everywhere…

ME: How much dairy did he have?

Husband: He only had his bottle, the rest was just his snack poofs while we were shopping….he went through three diapers in an hour!

ME: so not TWO cones of ice cream?

Husband: He LOVED THOSE

ME: I love chocolate, that doesn’t mean it won’t turn on me and make me fat…

Husband: I’ll go get the bath ready….