Finding Your Tribe

How many of you feel that you have found your tribe?  Like your group of peeps that are “ride or die bitches” as my one girlfriend says.  The ones that you know will be there not just for the good, but also for the shitty, messy, ugly parts of life?

If you answered yes, I have this to say to you:  I’m jealous and be grateful.  Since moving to Hotlanta, I lost my (local) tribe.  I had a terrific group of close girlfriends in LA.  Ones that I could call on a moment’s notice and go over to their house if something was happening with me.  Since becoming a mom, I’ve really struggled to find a new tribe that I identify with.

Case in point – this weekend I went with 3 other acquaintances to Bad Moms.  The movie was fantastic and hysterical at times, but there were parts of it that made me really emotional, thinking about my daughter, and I was tearing up/crying.  Because in the movie, the lead character finds her tribe of weird mom friends.  Genuine friends that care about her!  The message really hit me.  I cried.  A lot.

Not one of them asked me if I was OK during or after the movie. Not one of them said a fucking word about my tears.  None of them cried.  During the movie credits, the actresses were filmed chatting with their own moms, and I cried even more.  That part hit me especially hard because of my shitty (non-existent) relationship with my own mom.  I couldn’t wait to leave to get away from them and be with my family.  I cried the entire drive home, thinking to myself, “None of these women are your real friends.  Not a single fucking one of them.”  Superficial.  They are what I like to call good time friends.  You see them when it’s a good time….but when it gets rough, they scatter and are nowhere to be found.

If I’m going to spend time away from my daughter and my husband, I want it to be with quality people.  People that want to know what is honestly going on with me.  People who want the real story of my life.  Not the glossy, positive only Facebook type picture of my life.  Because that shit ain’t real.  And I don’t have time for people in my life who are fake.

For those of you that have found your tribe, how’d you do it?  Especially you moms…how did you find a good group of women that help to support and love you?  I need any advice or suggestions you may have.

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